there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
God I need to hump something, right now.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
