She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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