so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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