After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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