it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
