Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
