Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
