I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
How does it feel to date your dad?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
