I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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