I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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