Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
