Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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