this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
