did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
