He is an equal opportunity slut.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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