Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
