Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
