): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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