Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
