Got a toothbrush?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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