Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
