My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
