Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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