i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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