Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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