"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
