Those balls look pretty dangerous.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
