he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
