i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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