she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
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Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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