what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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