Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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