Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
