We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
