I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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