grandma shit on top of the toilet
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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