There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
