your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
