just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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