im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
