have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize