My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just invented taco cereal.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He? As in you personified your dick?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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