What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize