guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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