we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
