I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
