Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
