I wish I could punch you in the face.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
