I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
