so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
