You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
