I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
