That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
