2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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