Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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