I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
