Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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